For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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