Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
