I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
