Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
wow bdsm is so cute
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