Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
