I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
