omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
