he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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