You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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