You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
