you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
