She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
