Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
