just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
