My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
