Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
