I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
