he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
