Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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