are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
