Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
