I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
