I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You are a genius and a whore.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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