Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
