5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
