Don't make out with my wife yet
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
