i think i have herpe
just one?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
there is glitter all over my balls
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