i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
