on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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