He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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