you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
