Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do you remember whose house we're in?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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