You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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