the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
