Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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