Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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