Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
