It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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