What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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