so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
