Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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