Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
