He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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