dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
