I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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