grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
