"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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