I'm passing your future prison.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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