If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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