did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
