in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
All the doctor said was why
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