Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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