I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
