real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
