you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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