the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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