is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
