last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
