If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
How's work?
Spinning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
