Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
