On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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