i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
