Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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