ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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