Don't you send me to vm
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
