PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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