The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
