Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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