just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Randomize
