I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
