i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
