I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
