Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm passing your future prison.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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