Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
